The Amazing Pudding

Are You Freaking Kidding Me?!

Posted on: April 6, 2009

I haven’t been able to force myself to watch the following video yet. I’m still stuck on the title and concept. Apparently, the blogger at Out-Numbered was asked to post a video from Momversation. The title of this meeting of the minds?

Are You Stressed When Dad Watches the Kids?

What the…Are you freaking kidding me?! Is this a serious question? God help the children if it is. I suspect that either these ladies are sexist control-freaks who think their hubbies are lazy and incompetent fools with the parenting skills of Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin, or their husbands really are lazy and/or incompetent. Neither situation is good.

Fathers: If you’re already educated and involved, keep up the good work and spread the word. If, however, your behavior resembles that of Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin, it’s time to man up. Caring for you children isn’t women’s work. It’s parents’ work. Maintaining the home isn’t women’s work. It’s families’ work.

Mothers: If you already know that men can – and should – be educated and involved parents, keep encouraging us and spread the word. If your husband is Homer or Peter, stop bitching about him and lovingly help him get his priorities straight (and that may include tough love). If, however, you assume your husband is Homer or Peter because you think women are inherently better at parenting and housekeeping, get over yourself. That attitude is a major contributing factor to male domestic absenteeism/ineptitude. It’s a self-fulfilling prophesy; if you believe men are domestic failures, you’ll treat them as such, and that’s what they’ll be. Why work should they work hard if they won’t be respected or appreciated for doing so?

I suppose there’s a another possibility. Sometimes, accusations of ineptitude are really negative appraisals of different domestic ideals and/or methods. When both parents are educated and involved in raising children and maintaining the home, there may still be major disagreements about orthodoxy and orthopraxis (the right way to think about things and the right way to do them). That’s another topic for another day, though.

Anyhow, I’ll post an update when I’ve had some time to calm down and patiently view the video. In the meantime, have you seen it? What did you think? How mad do you think I’ll be when I finally watch it? Am I completely off my nut?

Related post: “Dads Do Not Babysit” at The Daddy Files
Update 04/07/09: So I watched it. It wasn’t as bad as I feared, but it was still ridiculous and chock full of irritating stereotypes. The conclusion these moms came to was basically, “Well, the kids are safe with Dad and they get to have a lot of fun. I guess I’ll just have to put up with my schedule not being kept, the kids being undisciplined, and the house being turned into a war zone.” Whatever. Get over yourselves.


2 Responses to "Are You Freaking Kidding Me?!"

It’s actually not that bad, I braced for the worst when I saw Jason’s post. But I agree with you, a lot of the disconnect comes from different styles and the inability to reconcile them. I would imagine there are parents that retreat from active participation because they are tired of being told they are doing it wrong. I’m fortunate that my wife and I are on the same page for the most part, but when we aren’t that we have the foundation to discuss it in a rationale manner and resolve our differences. My way may not be right, but it is also not necessarily wrong, and vice versa.

If a woman is nervous about dad watching the kids then she probably shouldn’t be reproducing with him no matter what the reason.

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