The Amazing Pudding

Be Less Helpful

Posted on: February 19, 2009

The Image

The Image

The Truth

The Truth

I thought about calling this post “The Abobination”.

I had a doctor appointment today. I couldn’t get a sitter, so I took Red with me. Riding the bus on the way home, Red caught a young fellow’s attention. He stopped watching (very loud) videos on his cell phone and talked to me and Red a bit. He then did what he surely thought was helpful. I did not agree.

I suddenly heard what I initially thought was a “Yankee Doodle” ring tone. I shortly realized, though, that what I heard was in fact the theme song for “Barney the Dinosaur”. The “helpful” fellow then turned the screen of his phone around to show the show’s opening sequence. He asked with a smile, “Do you like Barney?” I assumed he was talking to me, since Red is not even six months old. I said, “No! I hate Barney!” He promptly stopped the video, seeming a bit taken aback.

I’m glad I didn’t have to kill him. I’d have likely ruined a useable umbrella stroller in the process, to say nothing of how I’d scare Red and the poor blood-spattered riders seated near us.

I won’t go into the details of why Barney is evil. That topic has been beaten to death by better writers. Suffice to say that if you think that showing the tales of Satan’s dim-witted love child with Grimace is help, do me and Red a favor and be less helpful.

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4 Responses to "Be Less Helpful"

The ringtone of the guy on the bus is an example of why Barney is evil: Why does a grown man need Barney’s ringtone?

You misunderstand. I thought I was hearing a Yankee Doodle ringtone. It was in fact a video he’d downloaded to amuse Red.

Someday this young fellow will have kids. At less than 6 months, his kids will have learned to “like” what they’ve been watching on TV. They will be addicted, and like the young fellow, they will attempt to watch TV every possible waking hour. They will dislike school because they only get to watch an hour or so of TV during the school day. Even as they attempt their homework, they will absorb the depraved messages of the drivel that the TV producers program. Later, they will enter the internet and absorb and espouse even grander drivel. The young fellow will see nothing wrong with this. He will even ask, “Why can’t we just ‘go to school’ by watching TV?”

There is nothing worse than a person that thinks they are helping when they are actually hurting. There is no stopping these people.

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